By: Sandy Dean: I often have people who ask me about the optimal time to have sexual intercourse in order to get pregnant with a certain gender. Many people realize that the day on which they conceive can be a very important factor in terms of whether they get a girl or boy baby. To that end, people sometimes ask or wonder if they should be having intercourse on even or odd days.
Someone might ask: “my husband and I would like to have a boy baby. My mother in law said that you should have sex on odd days for a boy baby and on even days for a girl. I told her that this is probably an old wives tale but she swears that this is true. How can this possibly be accurate?”
I honestly don’t believe it is accurate. I think that people probably gave this advice back in the old days because they thought that this advice would ensure that a couple was only having sex every other day and therefore ensuring a high sperm count during conception.
Understanding How Pregnancy Happens: One way to show you how this theory is a bit outlandish is to understand how a woman gets pregnant. A woman is fertile during a time period just before, after and during her ovulation period. This spans different time frames for different women, but it is only a few or a handful of days out of each month. If you are having sex on alternating days, then you are cutting into an already small window with no consideration given to when you can actually become pregnant.
Variables For Gender Selection: Now, let’s look at what might help you get a girl or boy baby. A man’s sperm has two different chromosomes that affect baby gender – Y (boy producing) and X (girl producing). These chromosomes have different characteristics. The X or girl producing live for longer and the Y or boy producing are faster.
That is why when you want a girl baby, you’re advised to have intercourse before ovulation. And you’re encouraged to wait until after this time frame when you want a boy. Notice that it doesn’t matter if either of these days are even or odd. As an example. Let’s say your menstrual period happened on the fifteen of the month. Now, let’s say you ovulate on the first day of the next month and you want a boy. Because having intercourse after ovulation is important for a boy baby, your optimal day to have sex is going to be the 2nd and after. The 3rd was also work. Notice that one day is even and one day is odd, but they are both optimal for a boy baby because they happen after ovulation.
To answer the original question though, the best day isn’t either or odd. It is the day before or after your ovulation day depending on which gender you want. To take it even further than that, the best day is not only when your timing is right, but when your PH is right also. PH and sexual positions matter too. And none of these things have anything to do with odd and even days on the calendar.
If you’d like step by step instructions of how to combine all of these variables and when, I’ve put together a few websites that explain it more directly. If you want a girl baby, see http://conceive-a-girl-baby.com If you want a boy, check out http://conceive-a-boy-baby.com
By: Sandy Dean: People often apologize for not fully understanding how conception works. But honestly, many of us did not have anyone to teach us. While our parents may have taught us the basics about the birds and the bees, we may not have been taught exactly what it takes to achieve a pregnancy.
For this reason, many people believe things that aren’t true – like a woman must have an orgasm to become pregnant (not true) or a man must have sex for a certain period of time in order to get a woman pregnant (this isn’t true either.)
Many people also believe that the length of time a man has sex has implications on whether he has a girl or boy baby. A wife might say: “my husband and I are trying to conceive. I would like a boy baby. My mother said that you have to have sex for at least half an hour for a boy, since the boy sperm die off more. To be honest about it, my husband is not the most lengthy lover. He tends to not last that long. I’m not complaining. It’s never been a problem before. But I wonder if it is going to keep me from having a girl baby.”
Honestly, there are two things you need to conceive. Sperm and an egg that is really to be fertilized. The egg part only happens at a specific time during a woman’s ovulation cycle. Generally speaking, there is a small window during each month when a woman can become pregnant. However, all a man needs to provide is the sperm and this can happen at any time during the month for him. Most men have sex and ejaculate in one sitting. They may have sex again a short time later. But the amount of time that it takes them to commit the act does not really have an impact on success or failure. All that is needed is the ejaculation which contains the sperm – regardless of the amount of time that was taken to achieve it.
Your mother’s theory might assume that the longer period of time means that more sperm is released. I suppose that this might be true if you were having sex and ejaculating multiple times during that one session, but that is not true of most people. Most men release millions of sperm chromosomes during one round of sex and ejaculation. It only takes ONE sperm chromosome for a conception.
What can matter in conception is timing and the woman’s PH. I think that this is a better place to put your attention, because it is easier to control and it actually does matter – unlike the time that it takes to have sex. The bottom line is that whether you have sex for 5 minutes or 30, you only need one ejaculation and one sperm chromosome to produce a baby. And a man’s sperm has chromosomes that are half girl-producing and half boy-producing, regardless of how long it took for them to be released.
If you’d like to learn more about how to optimize your chances of getting the gender that you want, I’ve put together a few websites that focus on the variables that really matter – like timing, PH, and sexual positions. I explain it step by step. If you want a girl, see http://conceive-a-girl-baby.com If you want a boy baby, check out http://conceive-a-boy-baby.com
By: Sandy Dean: I sometimes hear from people who have done a little research about conception and gender selection. Many have mistakenly come to the conclusion that it is the man who has the only and most important role – especially as it relates to the baby’s gender. After all, it is the man who provides the sperm. And it is the sperm that dictates your baby’s gender.
The thought process of many would-be mothers goes something like this: “I’m very discouraged that there is not much that I can do about my baby’s gender. Everything that I read says that it all comes down to the man’s sperm. So I pretty much provide an egg (which I can’t control and which is always the same sex chromosome. ) And it is the man who has the variation that makes a boy or girl possible. From what I understand, we can’t really control those chromosomes either, since men have the same numbers of each. So, what is a woman who is trying to conceive supposed to do, just keep her fingers crossed? Does she have any role at all?”
Yes, a woman can definitely have a role in her baby’s gender. I will discuss that momentarily. But first, I want to stress that, even if you were to discount baby gender, your role is very important. It is your body that is going to carry, nourish, and protect the baby. Without you, no baby would be possible. Never discount that. And give yourself credit for it. Now, let’s discuss the woman’s role in the baby’s gender.
Why The Woman Or Mother-To-Be Can Have Very Important Roles In Her Baby’s Gender: In a sense, you can look at the mom-to-be’s body as the welcome station or the gatekeeper for the sperm. She’s welcoming in two different types – boy-producing sperm (Y) or girl-producing sperm (X.) Depending on which gender you want, you can either try to make your body friendly or hostile to the different types of sperm.
While the man releases equal numbers of both types, you can try to make it so your body helps to weed out the sperm that you don’t want. For example, a couple who wants a girl baby would be smart to conceive early, have a very acidic vaginal PH and use shallow positions when love making. Why? Because these scenarios help to weed out Y sperm that produces baby boys, giving you a better chance for a girl baby. Likewise, couples who want a boy would conceive late, have an alkaline PH, and use deeper penetration when love making.
The above scenarios either make the environment easier or harder – depending on the gender that you want. In terms of vaginal PH, the woman’s role in that can’t be over stated. Only she can manipulate her PH to make the trip easy or hard for those sperm. And this isn’t the only way that she contributes. Frankly, I find that the woman often takes the biggest role in planning conception. She is usually the one marking her temperature or calculating her ovulation testing results on the calendar so she can gauge where she is in her cycle. She is usually the one who pinpoints the optimal early or late day depending on her desired gender. And she is usually the one who educates the man about which sexual positions are best to use during conception.
So yes, the woman has a very huge role to play. Not only is her body a save haven for the baby. But prior to conception, she can make her body either friendly or hostile to certain types of sperm – tipping the odds in her favor to get the desired gender. And she’s usually the one who decides on the optimal date and sexual position – all of which can matter greatly when it comes to baby gender.
It’s probably now obvious that PH, timing, and sexual positions are vitally important. And the woman contributes to all three. I’ve put together a few websites that explain the contribution of each parent step by step. If you want a girl baby, see http://conceive-a-girl-baby.com If you want a boy, check out http://conceive-a-boy-baby.com
By: Sandy Dean: It’s understandable that women trying to become pregnant with a certain gender spend a lot of time trying to determine the optimal day on which to conceive. This is important because if you get your timing wrong, you could accomplish the exact opposite of your goal. A couple who wants a boy could get a girl and vice verse.
If you’ve been researching how to get the gender of your choice, then you know that your vaginal PH and your timing are two very important variables in this equation. So women in this situation naturally wonder when their vaginal environment is going to be optimal. Women who want a girl will want to know when their vaginal environment is naturally acidic (which is ideal when you want a daughter) in the same way that women who want a boy baby want to know the ideal time that their environment is most alkaline (which is what you want to conceive a son.)
A question you might get in this situation is something like: “I’ve heard that early in your cycle, you’re more acidic, but are also more alkaline later on. Is this true? What days of the month are more likely to be acidic and which are more likely to be alkaline? I want a boy, so I am looking for alkaline days.”
I’m not a doctor or specialist, but I can tell you what I have found from my research. It’s thought that many women tend to be slightly acidic naturally because this state discourages infections. If you have reoccurring yeast or bacterial infections, then you might trend toward being naturally alkaline. However, one’s natural PH varies from woman to woman and you can easily test this.
Plus, there are many things that can change your PH. One thing that potentially changes it every month is ovulation. When a woman ovulates, her cervical mucus changes and becomes more thin. This makes her vaginal environment slightly more alkaline and this is a more friendly environment to the sperm. (An acidic environment is more hostile and that is why an acidic environment is said to encourage the much more hardy girl sperm.)
Other things that can change your vaginal PH include hormonal changes; (like ovulation, but also things like thyroid issues, medications, etc.) using perfumed feminine hygiene products; douching; and strict or harsh diets. One common thing that can change the PH very dramatically are tampons and the chemicals that they contain. Also, they hold fluids in the vagina, which can cause additional PH fluctuations. That is why some women tend to get infections after their menstrual period. (However, since most women ovulate well after their menstrual period and have been free of tampons for several days, this usually doesn’t come into play.)
If you, like most women tend to be slightly acidic right before ovulation, it makes sense that ovulation would help you become slightly alkaline. This happens without your needing to do anything. If the woman has an orgasm during sex, this helps to create an environment that is more alkaline still. But whether you are at the optimal level isn’t going to be obvious unless you test yourself to be sure.
If you want a girl, you may have to test yourself and then experiment with douches or diet to get back to an ideal acidic state. Or, you may start out so acidic that this adjustment isn’t needed. If you want a boy, the act of ovulation might be enough to get you alkaline, but you can’t possibly know that unless you test yourself which leads me to my next point.
The best way to know your starting level and then to know where you are when you conceive is to test. The PH strips are easy to find and inexpensive. If you test yourself prior to trying to conceive and find that your level isn’t great for the gender you want, then you can always tweak it with your diet and with douching. Even then, you still need to test right before you attempt to conceive to make sure the level is still right.
This is only applicable if you care deeply about the baby’s gender, of course. If that’s the case, it makes sense to take the extra effort to make sure that everything is optimal.
If you’d like step by step instructions of how to do this and when, I’ve put together a few websites that explain it more directly. If you want a girl baby, see http://conceive-a-girl-baby.com If you want a boy, check out http://conceive-a-boy-baby.com
By: Sandy Dean: Wives who want boy babies are sometimes looking for methods that they can use to give those boy-producing sperm (or Y’s) an advantage. Many know (or have read) the boy-producing sperm are weaker and more vulnerable than the X’s or girl-producing sperm. So an obvious question is what you can do to strengthen them.
Someone might ask: “what can I do to make the boy or Y sperm stronger? I’ve read that although the Y’s are faster, they are also weaker. I really want a boy baby. So what can I do to make them both strong and fast?”
Having Healthy, High Quality, Strong Sperm: Well, the fast part (having fast sperm) is already covered. As for strength, there are things that men can do to make their sperm quality high so that their sperm is as “strong” as possible. These things include: maintaining a healthy diet and weight; not smoking or drinking; cutting back on caffeine; lowering stress; getting enough sleep; checking the side effects of any medications; and limiting too tight underwear or time in saunas and hot tubs.
That said, ensuring healthy sperm means that both the X’s and the Y’s are going to be strong and healthy. There is no way to isolate one sperm over another. Anything that affects the Y’s is also going to affect the X’s.
Other Possibilities: The above might sound like bad news. But know that there are things that you can do to help the odds of the Y’s and to decrease the odds of the X’s. And most of it involves the mom-to-be rather than the dad. For example, the woman who wants a boy baby can have sex to conceive after ovulation. Why? Because we already know that the Y sperm are weak and not living as long, so just having them sitting there prior to the egg’s release is not the optimal thing to do. It’s better to know that the egg is ready (meaning ovulation has occurred) and to release the sperm only then.
Another thing that can be done is to make sure that the vaginal PH is alkaline. If it is acidic, that’s detrimental to the already-weak Y sperm. Also, use deep penetration to give them less space to travel. These methods do, in a sense, strengthen the Y’s because it gives them the best chance for success.
Of course, you want to encourage your husband to have a healthy lifestyle and body to ensure a high sperm count and quality sperm. But this means that both X and Y are healthy. There is no way to isolate one over the other. So it makes sense to do other things with the woman (where you can isolate some variables) in order to influence baby gender.
If you’d like instructions of what to do to get each baby gender and when, I’ve tried to make it easy to understand. I’ve put together a few websites which hopefully explain it pretty clearly. If you want a girl baby, see http://conceive-a-girl-baby.com If you want a boy, check out http://conceive-a-boy-baby.com
By: Sandy Dean: Many people realize that it’s very important to know precisely when you ovulate when you are trying to chose your baby’s gender at home. But sometimes, it isn’t so clear what should you do once you get that positive that tells you that ovulation is imminent.
I heard from someone who said: “I’ve been testing for ovulation since the last couple of days of my period. I wasn’t sure when I ovulated and I didn’t want to risk missing it. Finally, I got a positive reading this morning. I want a boy baby, so when should I start having sex? What does this positive reading really tell you? My husband is at work. Should I call him home? Or should I wait a little while to have sex?”
It’s very important that you read the instructions that come with your kit. Most will spell out exactly what a positive reading means. However, with this said, most of the time, a positive reading means that an LH surge has been detected. The test is telling you that there is the presence of luteinizing hormone and this generally happens right before you ovulate. Granted, there are certain medical conditions (like polycystic ovary syndrome or PCOS) that cause people to produce this hormone without ovulation being imminent. But if you have one of these conditions, you probably already know it and are under a doctor’s care. Most people agree that a positive reading means that you will be ovulating within 12 – 24 hours. And if you are testing every day and you tested negative yesterday, then it’s a pretty good guess that the luteinizing hormone was released very recently and that by tomorrow or very soon thereafter, ovulation would have already passed.
That means that by tomorrow or so, your egg should be ready to be fertilized. Now, boy producing or Y sperm are faster than girl producing or X sperm, but they also die off more quickly. That is why it is beneficial to wait have sex until after ovulation when you want a son. Since you know that this time period is either happening right now or will happen very soon, it makes sense to go ahead and have intercourse as soon as is feasible. Your egg can live for a day or two before it starts to deteriorate. So it is best to not wait too long. Since the boy sperm dies off relatively quickly as well, it makes sense to try to optimize the health of both the egg and the sperm. That’s why I think it makes sense to go ahead and begin having sex shortly after you get a positive reading.
With that said, I don’t think that you need to call your husband to rush home right that very minute. But having sex that evening is probably optimal. Many people ask if they should continue having sex after the initial positive reading. This can be a good idea when you are trying for a boy because you are maximizing each attempt. Since more sperm chromosomes are released this way, this gives you more speedy and healthy boy sperm that is fighting for the egg. However, this isn’t thought to be optimal if you want a girl baby. Most couples that are trying for a girl will have stopped having sex once they get the positive reading. Because a girl conception is more likely if you conceive early since the girl sperm have greater longevity. So for people that want a girl, that positive reading signals the time to stop intercourse and wait to see if you are pregnant. If not, you simply try again the next month. For couples wanting a boy thought, that positive reading is usually a green light to begin having sex relatively quickly.
I hope this article has helped you with your timing. But know that your PH and the sexual positions you use are also important in choosing your baby’s gender. If you’re confused about either one of these variables, I’ve put together a few websites that take a lot of the guess work out of this.
If you want a boy baby, check out http://conceive-a-boy-baby.com/
If you want a girl baby, check out http://conceive-a-girl-baby.com/
Can A Woman Conceive After Abstaining For Three Months? Would I Be More Likely To Get A Boy Or Girl Baby?
By: Sandy Dean: Sometimes I hear from women who have been divorced or out of the dating game for a while but are now in a situation where they want to conceive. Perhaps they have remarried or are now in a serious relationship after being on their own for a while. They wonder if their lack of having sex (or abstaining) is going to affect their ability to become pregnant. They worry that not being sexually active is going to somehow effect their fertility.
Someone might show a concern like this one: “honestly, I have been celibate for about eight months before I met my fiancee. We have decided to get married and I would like children. To make our marriage and honeymoon special, we’ve decided to wait to have sex. Our marriage isn’t that far away, so this is not a big deal. But I’m concerned that my abstaining for so long is going to affect my ability to conceive. Ideally, I’d love to conceive on my honeymoon. Will I have trouble getting pregnant? And will this affect my ability to have a boy, which is what I truly want?”
A woman’s abstaining is not thought to affect her fertility. Even though you are not having sex, your should still be releasing an egg each month. If the egg is not used or fertilized (as when you are abstaining,) you have a menstrual period instead of a pregnancy. Having periods and abstaining does not mean that the ovulation process stops or is affected.
Once you begin having sex again, your cycle will still ovulate and release an egg as it always has. The only difference is that this time the egg will be able to be fertilized (since sperm will be present,) possibly resulting in a pregnancy. (This is really no different than women who are having sex but trying not to become pregnant. Many of them will not have sex during their fertile or ovulation period. This doesn’t mean that they stop ovulating. And when they want to become pregnant again, they have sex during their ovulation period once again.) Now, using birth control pills or contraceptives not to get pregnant does mean that you may have to wait a few months when you stop this practice in order to start ovulating regularly again.
And, all of this all assumes that you are regularly ovulating and are healthy or not taking birth control as mentioned above or any medication that would affect your ovulation. If this is your first attempt at becoming pregnant and you don’t know for sure that you regularly ovulate, it’s very easy to test yourself with an ovulation predictor. This will give you the peace of mind to know that you are ovulating. Because honestly, in order to achieve a pregnancy, all you need is ovulation, a healthy egg, and healthy sperm. I’m certainly no expert, but abstaining from sex prior to this really shouldn’t have anything to do with ovulation. The process has continued all along. You just haven’t introduced sperm into the mix while having sex.
As far as what baby gender you get, abstaining shouldn’t affect that, either. In terms of your lifestyle, what would most affect your baby’s gender is: when in your cycle you have sex (meaning whether you have it before or after ovulation;) if you are alkaline or acidic; and what sexual positions you use. If you want to conceive on your honeymoon, try to schedule it while you are ovulating and when you already know that you are alkaline. Because having sex just after ovulation with an alkaline PH will help increase the odds of a boy baby. So does using the right sexual positions.
If you’d like to see how the process works step by step and how to increase your odds of choosing your baby’s gender at home, I’ve put together a couple of cheat sheets to try to make it easy. If you want a boy baby, see http://conceive-a-boy-baby.com. If you want a girl, see http://conceive-a-girl-baby.com
By: Sandy Dean: If you are reading this article, you’re probably actively and efficiently trying to get pregnant. If so, you may already know that that some components of the high quality sperm necessary to contribute to a pregnancy are sperm count and the motility of the sperm. The count is how much sperm is present and the motility is how efficiently the sperm are able to pass the cervix, get into the fallopian tube, and eventually fertilize the egg. People who suspect that their spouse has issues with sperm health or motility issues wonder if this will make them more likely to have a girl or boy.
Someone might ask: “I believe that my husband might have low sperm motility. I notice that he has a high volume of sperm so I don’t think that a low sperm count is our problem. But my ob/gyn said that although we haven’t been trying for that long, it could be that a sperm motility issue is at play. I don’t know if this is true or not. But if we do have a sperm motility issue, do we have a better chance of getting a boy or a girl?”
I am not a doctor or any type of specialist and this is definitely an issue for a specialist. The only way to know if motility is truly an issue is to get it tested. Ideally, it’s said that 50 percent of the sperm should make it to the egg in order to have motility that is at a good level for pregnancy. (A man who has less motility than this still has a chance of getting a woman pregnant, but it may take a bit longer or be more difficult. And that is simply because not as many sperm are making it to the egg and so, the chances or pregnancy will be less.)
Honestly, even with perfect motility, men release about 50 percent of the female producing sperm (X) and 50 percent boy producing sperm (Y.) Even if a man has a motility problem, the problem isn’t generally specific to one type of sperm. So he would theoretically still be producing a 50 / 50 ratio. What happens may be that the sperm are just not efficient at traveling to the egg and so they die off before they can make it. Now, girl sperm live longer. But, boy sperm arrive faster. So this would seem to cancel out both advantages.
The only slight advantage that I could see would be that couples with a motility issue would be more likely to use deep penetration when having intercourse. They would do this because placing the sperm closer to the cervix would make travels easier for all sperm. However, deep penetration gives the Y or boy sperm an extra boost since they don’t live as long and are faster. Couples who were doing that anyway and who have unknown or undiagnosed motility problems MIGHT be slightly more likely to have a boy based on this. But remember that timing and the vaginal PH are also important factors in baby gender also and we don’t know what these variables are.
If you have a motility issue, you’d want an alkaline PH which makes it easier for the sperm to survive and travel. And you would want to have sex as close to ovulation as possible to maximize the vitality of the sperm. All of these practices favor a boy baby.
But again, having a sperm motility problem in and of itself, does not, (at least in my non-professional opinion) favor one gender over another since nature has ensured that men produce equal numbers of X and Y sperm chromosomes. However, some of the practices meant to boost motility can favor boy babies.
If you have any doubt about motility, consult a specialist. If you are trying to get one gender over another, it is best to cover all possible variables. These are timing, PH, and sexual positions. I’ve put together a few websites that explain all of the variables step by step. If you want a boy baby, check out http://conceive-a-boy-baby.com If you want a girl, see http://conceive-a-girl-baby.com