As A Parent I’m Not Sure If I Should Want A Boy Or A Girl Baby. What Should I Do?

By: Sandy Dean: I sometimes hear from people who are in the early stages of getting ready to conceive. It’s a great idea to take a little time and think about how your life is going to change, what kind of parent you hope to be, and what kind of child you think you might hope to get. And it is at this point that many people will begin to ponder the gender of their future baby. They will start to ask themselves if they would be a better parent to a boy or girl child, and, if they are being honest, which they would prefer. For whatever reason, people can feel a little hesitation to be completely frank with themselves about their preferences. There can be some guilt about wanting one gender over another.

Someone might say: “it’s strange but I’ve never been one of those people who has always known how many kids I want and what I’m going to name them. My best friend has always declared that she was going to have two kids – one boy and one girl and that they would be named Emily and Jacob. She has said that from the time she was in third grade and she has remained firm on this, never wavering. I have never been this way. Honestly, I didn’t think about babies until I fell in love and got married. And now I’m thinking about which gender would be a better fit for me. My inclination is to think that it would be easier for me (and probably for the baby too) to have the gender that is the same as me – a girl. I know a lot about growing up female, so I could help a daughter with these things. But another part of me thinks that I would be depriving the man I love of the same experience. And maybe having a boy baby would open up a whole new batch of experiences for me. Plus, it might stretch my parenting skills and give me another perspective of what it is like to be male. What should I do when I still don’t know? Does this mean that I won’t be a good parent?”

I think the fact that you are giving this so much careful thought can be a very good sign. Some people become parents without ever worrying about how good of a parent they are going to be. I think that it is more important to be clear that you will try your best to be a good, effective, and loving parent to whatever baby you get. I find that this is almost automatic for most people. They take one look at their baby and take that baby in their arms (no matter what the gender) and it is love at first sight. It is the unconditional love between a parent and child that lasts an entire lifetime.

Another consideration is that if you don’t do anything to try to influence the gender of your baby, you have a roughly equal chance of getting either one. Mother nature has done her best to ensure that the species will remain ongoing because there are enough males and females to keep it going. So, you can certainly leave this to chance and trust that the universe is going to give you the baby that you are meant to have and are uniquely qualified to parent.

But if you determine that you do have a preference as to gender, then you can try some simple and easy things at home that will stack the odds of getting the gender of your choice.  I’ve put together a few websites that explain it step by step. If you want a girl baby, see If you want a boy, check out

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