Can A Woman Conceive After Abstaining For Three Months? Would I Be More Likely To Get A Boy Or Girl Baby?

By: Sandy Dean:  Sometimes I hear from women who have been divorced or out of the dating game for a while but are now in a situation where they want to conceive.  Perhaps they have remarried or are now in a serious relationship after being on their own for a while.  They wonder if their lack of having sex (or abstaining) is going to affect their ability to become pregnant.  They worry that not being sexually active is going to somehow effect their fertility.

Someone might show a concern like this one: “honestly, I have been celibate for about eight months before I met my fiancee.  We have decided to get married and I would like children.  To make our marriage and honeymoon special, we’ve decided to wait to have sex.  Our marriage isn’t that far away, so this is not a big deal. But I’m concerned that my abstaining for so long is going to affect my ability to conceive. Ideally, I’d love to conceive on my honeymoon.  Will I have trouble getting pregnant?  And will this affect my ability to have a boy, which is what I truly want?”

A woman’s abstaining is not thought to affect her fertility.  Even though you are not having sex, your should still be releasing an egg each month.  If the egg is not used or fertilized (as when you are abstaining,) you have a menstrual period instead of a pregnancy. Having periods and abstaining does not mean that the ovulation process stops or is affected.

Once you begin having sex again, your cycle will still ovulate and release an egg as it always has.  The only difference is that this time the egg will be able to be fertilized (since sperm will be present,) possibly resulting in a pregnancy. (This is really no different than women who are having sex but trying not to become pregnant.  Many of them will not have sex during their fertile or ovulation period.  This doesn’t mean that they stop ovulating.  And when they want to become pregnant again, they have sex during their ovulation period once again.) Now, using birth control pills or contraceptives not to get pregnant does mean that you may have to wait a few months when you stop this practice in order to start ovulating regularly again.

And, all of this all assumes that you are regularly ovulating and are healthy or not taking birth control as mentioned above or any medication that would affect your ovulation.  If this is your first attempt at becoming pregnant and you don’t know for sure that you regularly ovulate, it’s very easy to test yourself with an ovulation predictor.  This will give you the peace of mind to know that you are ovulating.  Because honestly, in order to achieve a pregnancy, all you need is ovulation, a healthy egg, and healthy sperm.  I’m certainly no expert, but abstaining from sex prior to this really shouldn’t have anything to do with ovulation.  The process has continued all along.  You just haven’t introduced sperm into the mix while having sex.

As far as what baby gender you get, abstaining shouldn’t affect that, either.  In terms of your lifestyle, what would most affect your baby’s gender is: when in your cycle you have sex (meaning whether you have it before or after ovulation;) if you are alkaline or acidic; and what sexual positions you use.  If you want to conceive on your honeymoon, try to schedule it while you are ovulating and when you already know that you are alkaline.   Because having sex just after ovulation with an alkaline PH will help increase the odds of a boy baby. So does using the right sexual positions.

If you’d like to see how the process works step by step and how to increase your odds of choosing your baby’s gender at home,  I’ve put together a couple of cheat sheets to try to make it easy. If you want a boy baby, see  http://conceive-a-boy-baby.comIf you want a girl, see

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