Can A Man Make His Sperm Conceive A Boy Or Girl Baby? Can He Influence Whether He’s Producing Girl Or Boy Sperm?

By: Sandy Dean: I sometimes hear from women who are either with a man who has had many children of one gender or the woman is in that same situation herself.  For example, the woman may have conceived all daughters or she has recently married a man with all sons.  Often, the couple are trying to reverse that trend and get a baby of a new gender.  And they are often wondering if the man has any control over which sperm chromosomes he will produce during this process.

I heard from a woman who said: “I had three boys with my previous husband.  I am getting married to a man who also has two boys.  Needless to say, I want a girl baby with my new husband.  I have been very clear about this and my husband is telling me that he can control his sperm.  I told him that this is crazy talk but he says that he can control what happens with his thinking and with his diet.  Can men control whether they are producing boy and girl sperm?  He is telling me that he will make sure that I get a girl baby this time and I know that he wants to please me.  But is this a promise that he can even make?  Is this even possible?”

I wish that I could tell you that this was true.  But I don’t believe that it is.  I will tell you why in the following article.

There Is Overwhelming Evidence That Men Have Equal Amounts Of Both Girl And Boy Producing Sperm Regardless Of The Gender They Have Previously Produced:

There have been studies where men who have produced several of one gender have been tested to determine their sperm production ratio.  Some expected to find that men who had only produced boys had more Y (boy producing) than X (girl producing) sperm. And, it would also be expected that fathers of nothing but daughters would have much higher amounts of X sperm.

But, this was not the case.  Instead, all of the men showed equal amounts of each type of sperm chromosome regardless of whether they had boys or girls.  I know that this is suprising to many, but this has been shown more than once.   So if we accept that the man in question very likely had equal amounts of X and Y sperm, he already had an equal chance of getting a girl baby, unless the woman or mother to be was influencing the outcome which I will discuss a little later.

Although There Are Things That Men Can Do To Increase Their Sperm Count, They Can’t Isolate The Sperm That They Are Increasing:

If you’ve spent any amount of time researching becoming pregnant, you’ve probably already read about how men can increase their sperm count to have a better chance of conceiving quickly.  But, although they can increase their sperm, they are also increasing both X and Y chromosome relatively equally.  And they aren’t increasing only the X’s and not the Y’s or vice versa.

Consider Looking At How The Mother To Be Might Be Contributing To Baby Gender:

Since the father to be’s sperm ratio appears to be set, it makes sense to look at how the woman or the mother to be is contributing.  It’s a common assumption that she doesn’t contribute at all, but I highly disagree with this.

Her timing, vaginal PH, and the sexual positions that she uses can all make one gender more likely than another.  For example, some things  can discourage the Y sperm which means that a girl baby is more likely.  Having a successful conception before ovulation, having an acidic vaginal PH, and using deep penetration without female orgasm would all help to weed out the Y sperm to increase the odds of getting a boy baby.

So if you are a female who is conceiving one gender over and over again, I would take a close look at your vaginal PH as well as your ovulation time as it relates to when you are having conception intercourse.

But to answer the question posed, while it’s reassuring to think that a man can think powerful thoughts or change his diet to get the gender of his choice, it’s not likely to happen because his ratio is going to be roughly 50 / 50 no matter what.  While there are things that he can do to increase his sperm count, these things will increase both X and Y sperm in equal ratios and this doesn’t change no matter what he does or thinks.  I wish it were different but science has shown that it isn’t.

The good news is that the woman often is able to control some variables as far as she is concerned.  So it makes sense to turn your attention there.

If this is still a bit confusing to you or you’re wondering where to start to influence your baby’s gender, I’ve put together a couple of web sites that breaks this down into small steps.  If you want a boy baby, check out

If you want a girl baby, check out

Can A Man Who Is Trying To Conceive Have Acidic Sperm? What Implications Would This Have On Baby Gender?

Occasionally, I hear from people who are trying to conceive who worry about the quality of the man’s sperm.  They know that this can have an affect on conception, but some worry about it in terms of baby gender.  Someone might ask if a man having acidic sperm might impact baby sex or gender.  Someone might say: “I don’t know this for certain, but I assume that my husband has acidic sperm because once it is released, I feel a burning sensation that remains until I shower carefully. If this is true and his sperm is acidic, does this mean that it will affect my ability to get pregnant and to not have the gender of my choice?”

I am not a doctor, so please understand that my answer is based on research and not on medical expertise.  If you have real concerns about your husband’s sperm, it is best to see a doctor.  However, it’s often not the sperm that is acidic – it is the semen.  The semen is what helps to transport the sperm during its travels to the egg.  I suppose very acidic semen might impact fertility, but this condition would be rare.  Since PH is very important for women trying to choose their baby’s gender, you may already have PH testing strips lying around. If so, you can test your husband just to make sure that there isn’t an acidity issue.  Sometimes, women can be allergic to sperm / semen which may be the burning issue that you are feeling.  So, check the PH to make sure that you are correct in your assumptions.

Most men have a neutral PH, which helps the semen to do its job to protect the sperm on its way to the egg.  An acidic PH would not be normal, although dietary changes could help.  If you test and find that it is highly acidic, I would run this by your doctor.  In terms of baby gender, it is actually the mother or women’s vaginal PH that comes into play because that is the environment that the sperm must survive on its way to the egg.  If a woman’s vaginal environment is acidic, then a girl baby is more likely since the girl (X) sperm are more hardy and resistant a harsh environment.  (You can use the same PH test strips that you used to test the semen to test your own PH.)  And yes, the woman’s PH can be changed via diet also (or douching.)  The woman’s PH is going to be much more important in terms of baby gender, but you also want to address timing as well as the sexual positions used, because those things matter also.  And if you do suspect acidity in your husband’s semen, see a specialist. I’ve out together a couple of websites to show how all of these things work together to influence baby gender.  If you want a boy baby, see  http://conceive-a-boy-baby.comIf you want a girl, see

If I Get A Positive Ovulation Test, When Should I Have Sex To Get A Boy Baby?

By: Sandy Dean: Many people realize that it’s very important to know precisely when you ovulate when you are trying to chose your baby’s gender at home. But sometimes, it isn’t so clear what should you do once you get that positive that tells you that ovulation is imminent.

I heard from someone who said: “I’ve been testing for ovulation since the last couple of days of my period. I wasn’t sure when I ovulated and I didn’t want to risk missing it. Finally, I got a positive reading this morning. I want a boy baby, so when should I start having sex? What does this positive reading really tell you? My husband is at work. Should I call him home? Or should I wait a little while to have sex?”

It’s very important that you read the instructions that come with your kit. Most will spell out exactly what a positive reading means. However, with this said, most of the time, a positive reading means that an LH surge has been detected. The test is telling you that there is the presence of luteinizing hormone and this generally happens right before you ovulate. Granted, there are certain medical conditions (like polycystic ovary syndrome or PCOS) that cause people to produce this hormone without ovulation being imminent. But if you have one of these conditions, you probably already know it and are under a doctor’s care. Most people agree that a positive reading means that you will be ovulating within 12 – 24 hours. And if you are testing every day and you tested negative yesterday, then it’s a pretty good guess that the luteinizing hormone was released very recently and that by tomorrow or very soon thereafter, ovulation would have already passed.

That means that by tomorrow or so, your egg should be ready to be fertilized. Now, boy producing or Y sperm are faster than girl producing or X sperm, but they also die off more quickly. That is why it is beneficial to wait have sex until after ovulation when you want a son. Since you know that this time period is either happening right now or will happen very soon, it makes sense to go ahead and have intercourse as soon as is feasible. Your egg can live for a day or two before it starts to deteriorate. So it is best to not wait too long. Since the boy sperm dies off relatively quickly as well, it makes sense to try to optimize the health of both the egg and the sperm. That’s why I think it makes sense to go ahead and begin having sex shortly after you get a positive reading.

With that said, I don’t think that you need to call your husband to rush home right that very minute. But having sex that evening is probably optimal. Many people ask if they should continue having sex after the initial positive reading. This can be a good idea when you are trying for a boy because you are maximizing each attempt. Since more sperm chromosomes are released this way, this gives you more speedy and healthy boy sperm that is fighting for the egg. However, this isn’t thought to be optimal if you want a girl baby. Most couples that are trying for a girl will have stopped having sex once they get the positive reading. Because a girl conception is more likely if you conceive early since the girl sperm have greater longevity. So for people that want a girl, that positive reading signals the time to stop intercourse and wait to see if you are pregnant.  If not, you simply try again the next month.  For couples wanting a boy thought, that positive reading is usually a green light to begin having sex relatively quickly.

I hope this article has helped you with your timing.  But know that your PH and the sexual positions you use are also important in choosing your baby’s gender.  If you’re confused about either one of these variables, I’ve put together a few websites that take a lot of the guess work out of this.

If you want a boy baby, check out

If you want a girl baby, check out

How Long Does Y Sperm Take To Reach The Egg?

I often hear from people who have either recently attempted to conceive or plan to do so in the coming weeks or months.  Many believe that they have either just ovulated or will very soon.  So, they are trying to calculate if they have a good chance for a pregnancy.  And if so, they want to know if they are more likely to get a girl or boy baby.  Part of these calculations is knowing how long the sperm can survive.

So, someone who wants a boy might ask: “how long does it take for the Y sperm to reach the egg?  My wife and I want a boy baby.  We waited to have intercourse until after ovulation and we might try again in a day or two.  But if it takes the sperm days to reach the egg, then might this be a waste of time?”

Honestly, the sperm speed can vary. Sperm can make its trip anywhere from an hour to days.  Y sperm is faster, but that doesn’t mean that there won’t be a few slow Y’s or a few fast X’s.  It’s said that some sperm reach the egg in as quickly as half an hour to forty five minutes and some take as long as a few days.  Since the egg can survive five days or more, the timing does have some overlap and flexibility.  For a boy conception, it’s said the Y sperm are faster than the female sperm so I’d suspect that more of the Y sperm are reaching that time frame of within one hour.  (But it’s probably also safe to say that not all of them are.)  Since you have a better chance of getting boys after ovulation and that time period has passed, I do not see any harm in trying again in a day or two.

However, if you wanted a girl, you would not want to have sex again after ovulation, since that would favor a boy.  The girl sperm are said to be slower, so it’s possible that many of them would take days to reach the egg.  That’s why it’s really advisable to worry about more than just timing since the life span of the sperm is individual.  They don’t all have the same speed or life span and there can be a good deal of overlap.  While it’s probably fair to say that conceiving after ovulation gives you more boy than girl sperm, there’s probably still going to be girl sperm available to the egg even after ovulation.  Yes, the chances for a boy would be better, but why not do everything in your power to raise the chances?  Another way to do this is to make the woman’s PH optimal for the gender that you want and to use the sexual positions that get the sperm closer or further away from the egg, (again depending upon what gender you want.) I’ve put together some cheat sheets that outline all three variables – timing, PH, and positioning – that are important for baby gender.   If you want a boy baby, see  http://conceive-a-boy-baby.comIf you want a girl, see


How Can A Man Help Conceive A Boy Baby? What About A Girl?

By: Sandy Dean: I sometimes hear from women who want to know that their boyfriend or husband needs to do to help them conceive a boy or girl baby. Occasionally, I hear from the men themselves who are trying to do everything in their power to help the woman they love get the baby gender of her choice. The truth is, there is plenty that a man can do to help conceive a boy or girl baby. But sometimes, his role is more of a supporting one, which might come as a surprise to you.

Here are a few examples.  Many people ask me what the man should be eating to achieve a certain sperm PH. Or they want to know if he should restrict himself in terms of food, exercise, or the clothing that he wears. The truth is, the PH of his sperm does not affect baby gender in the way that a woman’s PH does. Plus, men have a 50 / 50 ratio of Y to X sperm (boy and girl producing.) And this is typically true no matter what his family history is (in terms of baby gender) and no matter what makes up his diet.

There have been studies which show that even men who have had only boys or only girls still have these same ratios. I know that men can be desperate to help and are more than willing to tweak their diet or their lifestyle to help their partner get the gender that she wants. But this just isn’t necessary as it is vaginal PH (rather than sperm PH) that really matters.  With that said, there is definitely a part that a man can play, which I’ll discuss below.

Be Willing To Wait Until The Time Is Exactly Right To Have Sex: I know that it is very exciting when you are trying to conceive. When your wife or girlfriend gives you the green light that it’s time to make a baby, then it’s normal to want to get right to work and to let the fun begin. However, there is often a very good reason to wait. When you are trying to chose your baby’s gender, you often have a much smaller conception window than you would if you didn’t care about baby gender. Because if gender doesn’t matter, you can have sex anytime in the larger fertility window. But for a girl baby, you want to have sex only before ovulation. And for a boy, you want to only have sex after it. So there will only be a few ideal days for conception.  Some days will have to be passed up. Understand this and plan accordingly.

Know That You’ll Need To Invest In Some Tools And Do Some Detective Work: The biggest mistake that I see people make when they are trying to chose their baby’s gender at home is that they will assume that they know when they are ovulating without actually testing themselves. Or, they hope that they have the right PH without really knowing for sure. Guessing is the worst thing that you can do. Make sure your girlfriend or wife has a good ovulation predictor and PH tester and, more than that, make sure she uses it regularly and uses the applicable charts for both.

Understand That The Act Of Sex Many Not Be As Spontaneous As Usual: I know that it’s very romantic and exciting to think that when you have sex, you might be creating a baby. But it’s important that you decide on the sexual position that you will use ahead of time.  When you are not trying to conceive, being spontaneous with the timing of sex and the positions that you use is fine. But when you are trying to conceive, your sexual positions can matter a great deal. For a girl, you want to use shallow penetration. And for a boy, you need deep penetration. What positions that accomplish these things vary from couple to couple.

I know this might sound staged and planned (which isn’t as much fun,) but there’s a reason for this. Deep penetration helps the weaker boy producing sperm with the shorter shelf life. And shallow penetration is better for producing girl babies because it discourages those short lived Y’s (which contain boy producing sperm.)

I know that I’ve given you a lot to keep track of.  If it helps, I’ve put together a few websites that contain cheat sheets to take a lot of the guess work out of choosing your baby’s gender.   If you want a boy baby, check out

If you want a girl baby, check out

What Can My Husband Do To Make His Y Sperm Stronger?

By: Sandy Dean:  Wives who want boy babies are sometimes looking for methods that they can use to give those boy-producing sperm (or Y’s) an advantage.  Many know (or have read) the boy-producing sperm are weaker and more vulnerable than the X’s or girl-producing sperm.  So an obvious question is what you can do to strengthen them.

Someone might ask: “what can I do to make the boy or Y sperm stronger?  I’ve read that although the Y’s are faster, they are also weaker.  I really want a boy baby.  So what can I do to make them both strong and fast?”

Having Healthy, High Quality, Strong Sperm: Well, the fast part (having fast sperm) is already covered.  As for strength, there are things that men can do to make their sperm quality high so that their sperm is as “strong” as possible.  These things include: maintaining a healthy diet and weight; not smoking or drinking; cutting back on caffeine; lowering stress; getting enough sleep; checking the side effects of any medications; and limiting too tight underwear or time in saunas and hot tubs.

That said, ensuring healthy sperm means that both the X’s and the Y’s are going to be strong and healthy.  There is no way to isolate one sperm over another.  Anything that affects the Y’s is also going to affect the X’s.

Other Possibilities: The above might sound like bad news.  But know that there are things that you can do to help the odds of the Y’s and to decrease the odds of the X’s.  And most of it involves the mom-to-be rather than the dad.  For example, the woman who wants a boy baby can have sex to conceive after ovulation.  Why?  Because we already know that the Y sperm are weak and not living as long, so just having them sitting there prior to the egg’s release is not the optimal thing to do.  It’s better to know that the egg is ready (meaning ovulation has occurred) and to release the sperm only then.

Another thing that can be done is to make sure that the vaginal PH is alkaline.  If it is acidic, that’s detrimental to the already-weak Y sperm.  Also, use deep penetration to give them less space to travel.  These methods do, in a sense, strengthen the Y’s because it gives them the best chance for success.

Of course, you want to encourage your husband to have a healthy lifestyle and body to ensure a high sperm count and quality sperm.  But this means that both X and Y are healthy.  There is no way to isolate one over the other.  So it makes sense to do other things with the woman (where you can isolate some variables) in order to influence baby gender.

If you’d like instructions of what to do to get each baby gender and when, I’ve tried to make it easy to understand. I’ve put together a few websites which hopefully explain it pretty clearly. If you want a girl baby, see If you want a boy, check out

What To Do Before Sex To Have A Boy Or A Girl?

Many people reach out to me just before they attempt to conceive a child.  Many have very specific preferences as to gender.  They want to know what is needed before they attempt to have sex.  They would rather be diligent the first time and be successful than to rush and get the opposite of what they truly want.  So someone might say: “can you tell me what I need to do before I have sex in an attempt to have a boy?”  Or I might get a similar message, except for the couple wants a girl.  Many of the things to do beforehand are applicable for both genders, so below, I will offer some things that you can do beforehand to try to ensure success.  However, before I do, I want to stress that if you are waiting to implement these tips right before sex, you have waited too long.  Most of these things have to be thought about (and carried out) before hand.  For example, to get the right PH, you can change your diet, but it’s not likely that eating a certain food right before sex is going to be enough to make a significant change.  You’ll need to implement some changes in the days and weeks leading up to the conception.

Make Sure That You Are Healthy:  This seems basic, but it is worth mentioning.  It is easier to become pregnant when you are healthy and not dieting.  It’s also a good idea to be off of any medications that could affect a pregnancy.  So if you’re not yet begun a healthy diet and lifestyle, now is the time.  Both will help you get pregnant more easily and will help to contribute to a healthy pregnancy and delivery.

Make Sure You Know When You Ovulate And Then Proceed Accordingly (While Being Very Precise And Leaving Nothing To Chance:) Timing is very important in gender selection.  For a girl, you want to attempt to conceive before ovulation. And for a boy, you want to wait until ovulation has already happened. This is easier if you’ve been tracking your ovulation before hand.  If not, you’ll want a very good ovulation predictor.  For a girl, the saliva type are a little more sensitive and cost effective. (This is key because you need to conceive BEFORE you ovulate for a girl.)  Regardless of whether you are trying for a girl or boy,  just adding a varying number of days to your menstrual period and hoping that you’ve predicted ovulation isn’t necessarily effective. Why not know for sure by testing yourself? You can use models like these on Ebay.

Get The Right PH Before Hand.  Don’t Wait: This is very important.  It can take time to achieve the correct PH.  So you don’t want to try to do this the day before ovulation because you are not giving yourself enough time to make the necessary changes.  For a boy, you want an alkaline PH and it’s fine to be acidic for a girl.  But if you are the wrong PH now, then you will need some time to change / tweak your diet (or try different douches) in order to get to where you need to be.  Even then, I encourage people to test their PH right before they attempt to conceive to make sure that they are still in range.  Give yourself enough time to know how certain foods and activities affect your PH.  You don’t want any surprises when you try to conceive.

I know that most of these tips require that you do a bit of planning beforehand and that’s not always what people want to hear.  They want to get started a few days (or even hours) before they attempt conception, but that’s just not the best way to go about it.  Give yourself the luxury of time so that you know that you are covering as many bases as you can.  The more variables that you successfully address, the higher the chance for success.

This article gives you a few of the basics.  You’ll also want to use the right sexual positions at the right time.  They differ, depending on which gender you want.   I’ve put together some cheat sheets to make things easier.   If you want a boy baby, see  http://conceive-a-boy-baby.comIf you want a girl, see

What Is The Odd / Even Rule For Gender Selection?

I sometimes have people contact me and ask how to implement the “even / odd” rule when trying to get a girl or boy baby.  Quite frankly, when answering, I’ve had to look this up to be sure that I understand it correctly.  These ancient ideas come from various cultures and civilizations and each seem to interpret the “rule” a little differently.

But, as I understand it, the basic premise is this:   There is an Ayurvedic train of thought which indicates that if you conceive on days with even numbers, you are more likely to get a boy.   And if you conceive on days with odd numbers, you are more likely to get a girl.  There is also a train of thought that you should breathe on a specific side of your nose when you wake up in the morning and should lay on one side over another when you go to sleep at night.   However, I get more correspondence about the even and odd days, as this seems to be a concept that is easy to understand and to carry out.

Here is my opinion on the same.  It’s certainly fun to try this, but from a scientific standpoint, I don’t see how it could possibly work.  Your ovulation period (when you can become pregnant) is going to vary from month to month.  One month it might start on an even number and one month it might start on an odd number simply because the months have varying numbers of days.   So limiting yourself to even or odd days are also limiting the amount of days that you have to work with in order to achieve a pregnancy.  These days are already limited, since a woman’s ovulation window only stays open for a small number of days.

Also, the baby’s gender is determined by whether or not an X (female) or Y (boy) sperm chromosome fertilizes the egg.  A man’s sperm contains both of these whether the day is even or odd.  Now, timing can be important in a baby’s gender.  Science tells us that the boy sperm does not live as long, so it’s beneficial to attempt to conceive after ovulation if you want a boy.  Again, there is no way to know if this is going to be on an even or odd number day.  But you want it to happen after you know that you have ovulated.  But once again, if you limit yourself to only even or odd numbers, then you may miss that very small window.

I suppose that whether this strategy is worth a shot or not depends on whether you want to take the scientific route or go another way.  It depends on how important your baby’s gender is to you.  If you just want to have fun and only have a small gender preference or none at all, then the even / odd rule might be fun to try.  But if you are very serious about your preference, then in my opinion, the scientific method has a much greater chance of success.  Because it is taking what we know about the the X and Y sperm and then using methods that whittle down the sperm that you don’t want fertilizing the egg while boosting the sperm that you do want.  This is a very methodical way to help you get the gender that you want and it doesn’t leave nearly as much to chance.

Leaving very little to chance is very important.  And the steps for this is different for each gender.   I’ve listed the steps for each gender on some free blogs.   If you want a boy baby, see  http://conceive-a-boy-baby.comIf you want a girl, see

Should We Have Sex On Even Or Odd Days For A Boy Baby? What About For A Girl?

By: Sandy Dean: I often have people who ask me about the optimal time to have sexual intercourse in order to get pregnant with a certain gender. Many people realize that the day on which they conceive can be a very important factor in terms of whether they get a girl or boy baby. To that end, people sometimes ask or wonder if they should be having intercourse on even or odd days.

Someone might ask: “my husband and I would like to have a boy baby. My mother in law said that you should have sex on odd days for a boy baby and on even days for a girl. I told her that this is probably an old wives tale but she swears that this is true. How can this possibly be accurate?”

I honestly don’t believe it is accurate. I think that people probably gave this advice back in the old days because they thought that this advice would ensure that a couple was only having sex every other day and therefore ensuring a high sperm count during conception.

Understanding How Pregnancy Happens: One way to show you how this theory is a bit outlandish is to understand how a woman gets pregnant. A woman is fertile during a time period just before, after and during her ovulation period. This spans different time frames for different women, but it is only a few or a handful of days out of each month. If you are having sex on alternating days, then you are cutting into an already small window with no consideration given to when you can actually become pregnant.

Variables For Gender Selection: Now, let’s look at what might help you get a girl or boy baby. A man’s sperm has two different chromosomes that affect baby gender – Y (boy producing) and X (girl producing). These chromosomes have different characteristics. The X or girl producing live for longer and the Y or boy producing are faster.

That is why when you want a girl baby, you’re advised to have intercourse before ovulation. And you’re encouraged to wait until after this time frame when you want a boy. Notice that it doesn’t matter if either of these days are even or odd. As an example. Let’s say your menstrual period happened on the fifteen of the month. Now, let’s say you ovulate on the first day of the next month and you want a boy. Because having intercourse after ovulation is important for a boy baby, your optimal day to have sex is going to be the 2nd and after. The 3rd was also work. Notice that one day is even and one day is odd, but they are both optimal for a boy baby because they happen after ovulation.

To answer the original question though, the best day isn’t either or odd. It is the day before or after your ovulation day depending on which gender you want.  To take it even further than that, the best day is not only when your timing is right, but when your PH is right also.  PH and sexual positions matter too.  And none of these things have anything to do with odd and even days on the calendar.

If you’d like step by step instructions of how to combine all of these variables and when, I’ve put together a few websites that explain it more directly. If you want a girl baby, see If you want a boy, check out

If An Egg Is Not Released When Sperm Is Present, What Happens In Terms Of Baby Gender

By: Sandy Dean:  It is understandable that when you decide that you want to conceive, you can be motivated to start right away.  The idea of having a baby and starting a family is very exciting.  Most people realize that there’s only one small period of time in each month where pregnancy is possible.  So if you do not have success, then you have to wait an entire month or so (depending on ovulation cycles) to try again.  Some people have sex before ovulation because they are just anxious to start the process.  And some do it because they want a girl baby and they want for the egg to be waiting on the sperm.

Unfortunately, things do not always go as planned.  Sometimes, the couple think that they will know when the woman might ovulate and then it turns out that she doesn’t ovulate when planned – even though they have already attempted to conceive.  This leaves them to wonder what happens afterward.

For example, someone might say: “my husband and I decided that we wanted to conceive as soon as possible. We read that for a girl conception, you should conceive before ovulation.  I figured that I would ovulate 14 days after my period, so we had sex 9 days after that.   We figured that I would ovulate before day 14 and we figured that this would be okay since sperm can live for 5 days.  I used ovulation predictor strips (like the pregnancy kind where you use urine) and I have not gotten a positive yet, which should mean that I have not ovulated.  So what happens to that sperm?  Does it hang around until the next attempt? Does it have any bearing on gender when we try again?”

Sperm that doesn’t fertilize an egg basically deteriorates and dies off in the the same way that an egg does when it isn’t fertilized.  Neither has any bearing on the next attempt at conception.  Since both have basically died off in the body, you are starting fresh the next time.   When you want a boy baby, the process is a little more simple because in that case you can simply wait until you know that ovulation has taken place and then have sex.  Not all women ovulate midway through their cycle, so you really need to test to make sure. (Although you want to make sure that vaginal PH and sexual positions are also optimal.)  But when you want a girl, you have to plan a little more.

I know that you’re anxious to get started, but it can help to watch your cycle for a few months if you are trying for a girl OR to get a saliva ovulation predictor which can help you see what is happening several days before ovulation occurs.  This gives you more flexibililty than the urine predictors, particularly when you are trying for a girl. (Here’s an example of what I am talking about on Ebay.)

If you know that you haven’t ovulated and that the sperm is outside of its viability (and 5 days really is generous.  That’s the maximum amount of time that sperm can live) then you can always have sex again and continue to test.  But you really only should do this if you know that your PH is correct.  If not, you are better off waiting until the next month so you have the confidence that you have addressed everything that you can.  If you wait, then the sperm simply dies off and you start fresh the next time.

Since you might be trying again next month, now is the perfect time to begin charting your ovulation and to begin checking and monitoring you vaginal PH.  That way, you will have all of the bases covered the next time.  If the process and variables are still a bit confusing, I’ve tried to simplify it for you.   I’ve listed the steps on some free blogs.   If you want a boy baby, see  http://conceive-a-boy-baby.comIf you want a girl, see

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