I’m Worried My Spouse Will Be Disappointed In Me If I Can’t Produce A Girl Or Boy Baby

By: Sandy Dean: If we are all being completely honest, I think that most of us have at least a small preference as to the gender of our babies when we are trying to get pregnant. It’s very common to want the same gender as yourself- especially for your first baby.

And because of today’s economy and global environment, families are becoming smaller. We are no longer in a situation where people have large families to help with the distribution of labor. Large families today are expensive. Not every one can afford that. And some people would rather focus their love and attention on a smaller number of children than to spread it out over a larger number of kids.

Considering this, gender selection can be more important than before. When you know that you’re only going to have one or two kids and then you are going to stop, then you’d like to make sure that you get the gender of your choice.

This can actually cause some pressure and friction between couples at a time in their lives that should be happy and exciting. Either the mother or father-to-be can worry that they are going to produce the wrong gender – upsetting everyone involved.

From a mom-to-be you might hear: “I really want to give my husband a son. I know that we may one day have a daughter. But for the first attempt, I’d really like to have a boy. I know that it is the man’s sperm that fertilizes the egg. And I can not control that. But I know that the woman’s PH comes into play too. And I worry that I will have a baby girl PH. I know that my husband is a good man and that he will love whatever child we have. But I so want to do this right. I don’t want to disappoint him.”

From the man you might hear something like: “my wife desperately wants a little girl. I am the father of a boy from my previous relationship. I worry that I only produce boy sperm and therefore I will not be able to give her the girl baby that she wants. I know that she will love me and our family regardless. But I don’t want to disappoint her.”

What Really Dictates Your Baby’s Gender: Before I tell you why neither is likely to be disappointed, I’d first like to go over the fact that both mother and father (as well as other factors) influence baby gender. While it is the man’s sperm that ultimately decides baby gender, he has equal amounts of both girl and boy producing sperm. Men don’t produce EITHER girl sperm OR boy sperm. They produce both. And they produce them in equal amounts. This has been tested. So people worrying that a certain man can only produce one type of sperm is truly unfounded.

Now, a woman can influence the baby’s gender also. An alkaline PH by the woman favors boy babies while an acidic one favors girls. Women are often naturally one way or another depending on many factors including their diet or lifestyle. But they can change their PH also. So there is no reason to think that you “can’t” have one gender over another if you are a woman. You may not be naturally inclined one way in terms of your PH, but that can be changed.

There are also other factors – like timing and the sexual positions used that come into play. But again, these things are under your control.

Comparing What You can Control With What You Can’t: So, let’s look at the things that you can not control. You can not control the fact that a man has equal amounts of boy and girl producing sperm. But this is a good thing because it means that the odds remain neutral. You can not control when a woman ovulates and can become pregnant, but you can control when you do or do not have intercourse around this time frame.

You can control your timing, your PH, and the sexual positions that you use and all of these things can impact whether you get a boy or a girl. Since controlling these things are not harmful and they are not expensive, then there is no harm in trying this. Many of us do not have the thousands of dollars it would cost to have medical intervention to ensure that we get the baby gender of our choice. But we can certainly control some variables that don’t cost a thing.

Having Trust: Beyond that, I believe that if two people are at the point where they want to have a baby and start a family, they are beyond disappointing each other. When you are ready to become parents and start a family, you are mature enough to know that whatever the universe gives you will be loved.

We all know women who insisted they wanted a girl and who are adore their sons and wouldn’t want another child. We all know men who wanted sons and yet now have a “daddy’s little girl” who they think hung the moon. Frankly, I don’t know any parent who can say that they regret their child’s gender. They might say that they would want a boy or girl the next time around. They may want the opposite gender with the next pregnancy. But I don’t know any parent who doesn’t fall in love with whatever child the universe gives them.

So I wouldn’t worry too much about the disappointment factor. I would control what I could. And there is plenty that you can control. And then I would trust that the universe would take care of the rest.

I know that I’ve given you a lot to think about.  But this really can be broken into steps. I’ve put together a couple of cheat sheets to try to make this a step by step and easy process. If you want a boy baby, see  http://conceive-a-boy-baby.comIf you want a girl, see http://conceive-a-girl-baby.com

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