My Husband And I Disagree On The Gender We Want For Our First Child. Is There Any Way For Me To Try For My Preference On My Own?

By: Sandy Dean:  There are some couples who chose to get pregnant in a very spontaneous and laid-back way.  They will just decide that the time is right and then they will let nature take its course.  They won’t do anything special and they are sincere when they tell you that they don’t care which gender that they get as long as the baby is healthy.

And then there are the couples (and my husband and myself were one of them) who plan very, very carefully.  They deliberately get off of the pill (or other method of birth control) at a specific time and then they do not dream about trying to conceive until the correct amount of time has gone by.  Then, they will methodically use methods meant to get them the gender that they have carefully chosen.  This can work quite well and many couples have used this strategy without a hitch.

Unfortunately though, not all couples agree on every aspect of this process. Sometimes, one parent wants a boy and the other wants a girl.  For many couples, this is just a small disagreement that ends quickly.  Other times, both people feel very strongly about their own desired gender and it can become a bit of an issue.  Someone might say: “my husband and I disagree about what gender we want. I desperately want a girl for my first child. My husband wants a boy.  Here is my problem.  I am 35 years old.  I hope that I can have more than one child, but I don’t think that’s guaranteed.  So I want to make the most of this chance and get the daughter that I want.  My husband already has one son. Granted, because he is divorced, he does not have a great relationship with his son, but that is not my fault.  I am wondering if I can try to get a girl on my own and without needing his cooperation.  That way, we won’t argue about it but I will get what is important to me.”

There are some things that you can try, but before I go into that, I’d like to encourage you to try to talk openly with your husband about this.  Parenting a child is a very important life commitment and this is a concern that you want to share with him.  Your logic does not sound unreasonable and perhaps if you explain it to him in the way you just explained it above, it might make an impact.  You don’t want to start off as parents disagreeing about something so important and then not having an open dialogue about it.

Anyway, although the man’s sperm does determine baby gender (a Y sperm means a boy and an X sperm means a girl,) a woman can make her body either friendly or hostile to the sperm that she doesn’t want to encourage.  In this case, since you want a girl, you’d want to have an acidic PH, use shallow sexual positions, and use early timing.  Now, you need your husband’s cooperation for the early timing and the sexual positions.  (Of course, you could theoretically keep your motivations from him. But again, that’s probably not the best idea for something as important as your marriage and your potential children together.)

Luckily, most parents come to adore the very children they’re given regardless of gender. So please discuss this with your husband.  For future reference, I’ve put together a few websites that explain how to get the gender of your choice step by step. If you want a boy baby, check out If you want a girl, see

(Visited 603 times, 1 visits today)

About admin

Comments are closed.